Good luck

S: "Is that how you say Good Luck in Urdu? Alah ka fazel ho?
Me: *Cracks up laughing* "LOL No silly thats not how normally I say good luck. I think this literally means God Bless you."
S: Well then how do you say it then?
Me: *thinks for about five awful minutes* "I dont really know I just say good luck!" =D
Gah. Haha. 

Waiting for something

"Waiting for something but I don't know what I want
Searching for reasons, reasons to carry on


Jumping from place to place
With a plan so out of range
Nothing I can do to save me
Nothing I can change"

Help!!

Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with a REAL  bitch at work? 

*heart*

Is unwillingly, unintentionally, reluctantly in LOVE!

Tomorrow, March 31st.

Another year, another birthday.

I know I you owe a nice post, dear blog!.



                                                               P.S. If anyone of you  is on my facebook, please don't wish me on my wall.

ADD!!

I want to change my blog title but I fear that it will mess up the url and would not direct a reader to my blog. Any suggestions? I don't want to change my url, just the blog name, is all.

I have been diagnosed with Adult ADD which is kind of exciting and a I feel relieved because my personality has been very chaotic and finally I feel like I have some peace and concentration. I feel like I just de-cluttered my brain. My doctor put me on Vyvanse and so far I feel good. 

I feel less burdened, in a way.
I also lost a follower or two. Did not surprise me, at all.

Unwanted desire.

Seven years ago I wanted something so desperately that I was ready to give up anything for it, but unfortunately I did not get it and now that thing came to me on its own and I refused to accept it.  Life is weird. Utterly complex. I never imagined grownup troubles could be so complicated.

I would appreciate it if you don't judge me by this post. Or any post.

Suddenly out of nowhere I feel like smoking my very first cigarette. I don't know how do I get a single one though. I don't want to waste $4 on something like that. :D I know it is gross but still I want to try it just for the heck of it.

PS Don't be judgemental.

I am not on crack.

I owe y'all a big thanks for asking me to start writing again. I haven't been away, I wasn't on crack, I wasn't on pot either.... I was just dead busy plus preoccupied with all the worries.

Umm...... FYI, I think I might write like I'm talking, more like I'm writing becasue I don't know it might take sometime for me to bring myself back into the world of writing. But honestly, i'm just too glad to be back.
I have never been popular with anything. Being quiet is my thing, its only here that I get to open up to people. Because I suck at interacting with people in real-life situations, some people think I'm a bit arrogant. How crazy is that. Me and arrogant? No way. Just because I'm not talking to you nonstop doesn't mean I'm arrogant. While others think I'm real nice. I do care about what others think about me even though I shouldn't care but I still do.
Okay.
I have developed an addiction with chocolates and which is blessing me some extra pounds I'd like to shed someday. Its only with chocolates, not other sugary candy, just chocolates with lots of nuts. Lindt truffles being my favorites and Snickers too.
Last night, my sister kept me up all night becasue she couldn't sleep. I don't fall completely into a real sleep until 4 in the morning and the first half of my sleep is always half-awake feeling kind of sleep so just when I fell into this sweet dream-less sleep, she walked into my room and woke me up because she was scared. I felt like jumping down a bridge or something because I had to get to work by 8. It was a horrible day.

I need to put my stuff in order because half of my stuff is in this computer and half of it is in the other one.

Everytime I start to write something pleasnt, it turns into a rant. :p I'm just so full of rants. I ordered some stuff from ebay and it the shipping took forever. The only days when I get off of work this week are Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Thats all. No long Christmas break. Don't you just love working in a doctor's office?
I have a big to-do list to take care of and I never get my tasks done on time. I love watching Everybody hates Chris. It has always been there to kill my boredom and slap the sadness out me.
I was thinking about doing something worth while next time. I never write anything good. Lord have mercy.
Next post will be an iLike post as suggested by a good blogger friend of mine called,The Me. =)

After a random post here comes a random picture. My little brother made this for me...

?

What do I write first to break that awful silence in here? Any suggestions? Questions?

Update!

Its about time i UPDATE MY BLOG!!! I hate this writer's block.

A post from Doze-land

Life for me is getting complicated with each passing day. The more exposure to the outer world, the more confusing it gets. I really miss the naiveness and purity of my childhood. Being in a different place and living around different people, being in a position where you are constantly judged by every one around you, is kind of tough. I'm the one representing my entire country, and I no longer go unnoticed. For others, it might be thrilling but for me, it is overwhelming or stressful I guess. Well that's because I'm lame and you know it :)
And yes, I have gained so much, confidence, experience and I'm learning with each passing day. Life has always been a mixture of good and bad, bittersweet. Sugar coated bitter lump.
I want to learn the way our mind responds to different feelings and why and how our thoughts and feelings change. I want to learn to trust my instincts with faith and have nothing to regret in the future.
Life is so much more than living  by rules.
Hey I once bought Club Soda while I was in Pakistan and I had no idea what it was or why it was sitting on a super market's shelf but somehow I bought it and somehow I opened it and somehow I took the first sip and somehow I near threw-up. It was a strange mixture of stale smelly water with something very bitter in it that you could not bear to stand for a second. It stirred up my nervous system. In a bad way. Get my point here? About lifw? yes, I hope you did.
 Let me remind you that I'm at this time, exhausted to bits and I wan't to go and collapse. On my bed, that is. Its funny because whenever I start a blogger post I'm always on this system where I have no pictures and all of them are in the other one and I can't put them up becuase I'm just too lazy to do a thing too difficult for my lazy, lazy self.
Alarm set: 5:00AM
Doze off, girl.

Can you trust your instincts? If yes, then how?

A little happy post amid not so happy days.

Been ages, I know. I'm just too busy with everything, I hardly have time for doing something that's out of the normal everyday routine. But I had some awesome time today that prompted me to write an impromptu blog post =p
Ladies and gentlemen, I went to the gym!! woohoo. I had a great workout!! and fitness equipment there, is just top-notch. You can watch the calories you're burning, your speed and you can even watch the built-in TV :p
Our apartments have their own gym, spa, and pools for the residents. Isn't is so wonderful?? To have something awesome right next door?? Okay may be I'm exaggerating but I love working out!!! I WILL, from now on, go and workout every single day!!!
I and my brother hit the gym at around 10ish at night, its fun to be all by ourselves =p
 My brother has this  friend and a few days ago he was like... wow, you have a sister!! Can I date her? WOW. A 16 year old kid who dyed his blond hair brown and who probably has a dozen girlfriends wanted to date me??? LOL.Kids.
Pics, Oh pics!! i PROMISE I will be posting them!!

New Followers, and other things.

I have got 53 followers now!  Wow, thats huge!! Thank you everyone...for following...it makes me feel like my blog is not deserted =p
thank you Bea, AcetylCholine, ol dat jazz, R-J, Crazy Girl, and Sajeel follwing, and welcome to my blog. Although you're going to be disappointed because I don't write regularly but thank you, anyways.
=)
Yesterday wasn't a very good day for me... i had SEVEN shots in a row... seven sharp, prickly, and painful shots.  It didn't hurt much when i got them but later on after an hour or so, the pain got worse and I couldn't even lift my arms!! my muscles hurt =( I've got four on the right upper arm muscle and 3 on the left. And I got fever and body cramps too, I was sickly and tired and exhausted and I ate absolutely nothing for a good 33 hours =s I just lost all the appetite. Which was interesting, I love loosing my appetite =s =p

Wondering why I got shots?
Because I lost my childhood shots record and now I HAVE to take all of those shots again!! I'd be having them every month, for a total 6 months. Not good. =(

The days seem so short! It is hard to complete all the important tasks in one single day. May be because I'm no good when it comes to time management. It is very, very frustrating. Any suggestions?

Talks to herself

Its pitch dark in my room, no lamppost light coming in and no moon,

just sitting on my bed with thoughts squirming around my head....

I'm again having this sudden urge to write about love, which is something I don't want to write about here. I have realized that I'm loosing readers and I'm not a very active blogger or a famous, popular one who'd make you laugh or go "Awwww" or Ooohh. Long story short, I'm not a popular person at all. Not only on blogger, but in real life too. I'm a quite little bug in the corner, I talk to myself in my head. I have little to none friends. And I feel very nervous when talking to someone I haven't met before. I just look at others when they keep on talking(read blabbing) constantly without a pause. I used to underestimate myself on daily basis but now I have come to the conclusion that it is something I'm and I can't change myself so why not live with it and be proud of who I really am. Whataya say?
There is so much inside of me, so much to be written, so much I'm holding back. If I can't talk out loud,I should probably write more, for me, at least.

Title: Sorry I'm out of titles...

There are times when there's a lot inside of you but you don't want to write anything at all. I'm going through this phase. I need a nice novel to read. I want to read, not write.

I'm so in love with this song,.I want to dance to it!


I once hated "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum but today early in the morning I was listening to it on fm and I liked it! Its crazy how for the first time you don't like a song and then after listening to it twice or thrice, you start listening over and over again and again... crazy much? I'm like that. Music is one thing that keeps me going.  Something is not write.. something weird and crazy is going on in my mind.. may be some coffee will settle me down.. wow, WOW....see, I have caught the cold.. and I thought I was the luckiest fellar on this planet.. because my entire family caught it and I didn't and now I have it and everyone's fine. Pathetic much? Go drink some more coffee or tea with a dash of honey.  Madeline is the cutest girl from Paris. I love her stories!
 I made chocolaty muffins today with chocolate morsels on top and a hidden macaroon inside.. will post the pics later. I love long walks on the grassy sidewalks with speedy cars passing you by or walks in a quiet calm park when there's no one but you and your ear phones and music. Okay so the writing time is over... and ummm... my coffee is ready!