Terrified.

YOU HAVE TO READ IT ALL. 

It all happened in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of a deep slumber when some squeaking and scratching noises stabbed my dreams. I was so sure it wasn't any family member, for the noises were very peculiar.
I woke up that instance, fear running through my nerves. I did not know what to do, I couldn't dare to go out, fearing that the intruder might be armed. Panic almost blinded me and I completely lost control over my thoughts, "What if he hurts my parents or my siblings?" I asked myself. "No, I must go and check up on my own, find out who's making those noises, it might be a cat or a rat." I gathered up courage and sighed, and tiptoed silently and cautiously out of my room. The noises were coming from the kitchen. I walked slyly until something made me hold my breath, it was a tall, dark, lumpy figure of a man, he was busy doing something I couldn't quite figure out. "I must do something, I must do SOMETHING!," I told myself. I had never found myself to be so petrified before. I should have called the police right away, that was the wisest thing to do. But instead, I walked to my parents' bedroom and woke them up. And my dad walked to the kitchen bravely and switched on the lights. It was the most horrifying, most disgusting face I'd ever set my eyes upon. He wasn't shocked over being caught and I thanked God he was unarmed. With a look of a child molester, he smiled self-satisfyingly. And looked across my way. I shuddered. "I am sorry, I had to barge in like that, I'm poor and hungry and I was bitterly ravenous. I came inside to get something to eat .I am sorry to disturb you, I must go now", he said with a mysterious grin, for once I felt a momentarily relief. At least he wasn't a thief or a bad guy, I thought. He started walking towards the door to leave, when my father stopped him and and asked him to stay for a while and eat something. He ordered me to bring some food, I obeyed. And went straight into the kitchen and brought a platter full of of food for the man. He sat on the floor, right in front of the door that leads to the gate outside and started eating grubbily. Suddenly everyone else disappeared and I was the only one left in the room with him. I thought he might be grateful for our kindness, but to my horror, he looked at me with a ferocious stare, and spilled these words, "It is not over yet, It is not over yet, I'm not leaving so soon" and laughed. I felt myself sinking onto the floor, I suddenly felt my legs could no longer take another step, I felt helpless, my legs were playing tricks on me, I couldn't run or hide, or even kick him out of the house, least of all I did not even feel angry. I was horrified, terrified, I wanted to cry for help, yet my throat couldn't utter a word, not a whisper. I felt like choking. And then, he got up, started walking towards me, I was shivering. But he didn't come near me he went inside the house. I knew he would harm my family. I knew it, I suddenly caught a glimpse of my dad, I tried to scream, but he was caught in a trance. He stood blankly staring onto the wall. I tried to scream louder, and then I heard my mom, he was trying to harm her! I felt the rush of anger burst into my mind and strength came to me out of nowhere. I started beating him up, pushing, kicking, trying to get him out of my mom's room. My always strong, brave, loving brother,  stood in the corner. I went up to him and asked him to help me, but I saw tears in his eyes. He was CRYING! I was the one who could save my family, the only one who could bring them out of this danger. And then I did something I don't remember clearly, I heard a painful moan, and the  walls got dirty. And I woke up!!! Woke up out of this ghastly dream. Shivering, panting,  breathing in shallow gulps. And went back to sleep again where it all started again, he was still chanting "It is not over yet, it is not over yet." Something jerked me out of the sleep. I couldn't sleep anymore, I was drenched in fear thinking there might be someone inside our house for real. I did not wake up anyone, though I wanted to. After five minutes or so, I got up and went outside to check up on every room, checked the doors and windows. The first azaan caught my attention and I felt relieved, a bit. It was still dark outside, I drank some water, prayed, and prayed for a long time. I was relieved after I woke up, but something was still very frightening, the image of that man kept flashing before my eyes. I don't know when or after how long I went back to sleep, but thank goodness I didn't see that NIGHTMARE again. It is all real, all true, the story of the nightmare I clearly remember, a dream that still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.


-----------------------


I'm down with fever today, I don't know if it is because of the dream or just a coincidence, but I really am sick. My throat is sore and my head remained dizzy all day. Let's hope I don't see any nightmares tonight.
Another restless night ahead of me, thanks to the sore throat and fever.


Goodnight Ally, sleep tight, don't let the "nightmares" bite.

Nancy Drew.

I've been reading Nancy Drew since I were 12 :p Nancy Drew Stories were awesome and the files turned out to be even more awesomer =p I bought some new files again! And I'm loving it!

Hold on.

I'm holding on to my dreams,

And I'll keep holding on.

I won't let my dreams die,

Nothing can shake my faith, no stick, no stone.

Teleporting, I wish you were real.

Fifteen days  seem like an ETERNITY.

~

Junaid Jamshed- truly a legend.You could fall in love with his songs very easily. 90's was definitely the best era.

Double dutch.

Watching movies to kill time. I have read all these books. Need to buy more. Running out of time, must study. Maths kills me. Motorama is the best movie ever. Missing someone terribly. Must not cry like a baby. Matilda the movie, was awesome, as always! Coleslaw is the best thing ever to happen to cabbage family. Feelings are running high. Crying for no apparent reason. Oh, movie. Sorry. Bye

A Quick Rant.

Something is seriously wrong with me. Why do I change my templates almost everyday!? :/ I can't stand to look at the same old template every time I log in, something keeps telling me to change my layout, header image, background, and keep looking for something better. Why do templates challenge my right to have a wee bit peace in my life? And why does it sound so much fun to change templates?
Okay lets stop all this snivelling...let's just cut to the chase shall we? I think its an obsessive compulsive disorder or what? No? then what?
I have a whooping cough and I don't want this sedating cough syrup that tastes like rotten cherries. Summer (read scorching heat), my unwanted visitor has finally arrived with all its blessings- sweat, humidity, cranky moods, mosquitoes and what not. All that warm fuzzy giddy happy winter-y feeling has been replaced with crankiness and heat. The only good thing and the silver lining - I can now enjoy cool showers and drink and eat everything cold. All I could do now is to wait for it to rain and stay indoors. Animals hibernate in winter and I want to hibernate in Summer. I don't want any annoying tans, messed up sweaty clothes and I simply don't want to burn myself. Soon it's going to be beeping hot out there! God! please minimize intense heat and let the good weather roll in. Let this summer be rainy and cool. Please. Amen.
And somebody please help me get over this template changing OCD. I really want a long pause or else I'll squirming be through images and never ending nerve wracking seas of blogger templates for the rest of my life :D

~

Trying to figure it all out.

About the book....

"A magnificent and moving story of a love that grew in the balmy days before the outbreak of  the Second World War; how it was threatened as the Nazis invaded, yet finally triumphed. A FAREWELL TO FRANCE is a magnificent epic, played out against tumultuous  background of the time: a decadent French government, the life of a foreign correspondent, the grandeur of the Champagne regions and the glory of French Resistance."

This is the description written on the book. Still, there is so much more to it that could not be put into words for words seem futile. One needs to read it from the beginning till the end.
Apart from the love story, it is about the unmatched brutality and cruelty of the Nazi Germans, the horrors of the war, holocaust, families torn apart, lives shattered forever, and a race against time. I've learned a lot after reading this book that kept me hooked till the end. However, when I started reading it, I stopped halfway and begin with another book. I don't know why but when I resumed, it got better and better right after the chapter when war broke out. It was a nostalgic, romantic yet brutal read. Written in a vivid way, as if one is actually witnessing everything, as if one's a part of the story.  I loved every part of it. Definitely a story to remember for life.

I BELIEVE.

Its a song!!

I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word.
Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

-------
The bag tag and 50 random things about me tag coming soon!

~

Why does a book always end!? :(

Girls.

Girls are a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in another riddle, sugar-coated with mystery, enfolded into a puzzle while finally encased in a conundrum.

Peectures.

HAIL-STORM

They were as soft as snow. I was lucky enough to capture the moment. And a few minutes after I clicked this one, I couldn't see the grass, it was covered with ice! =)

Right after the hail and rain



You can tell, I have a passion for nature.

SILLY SNAIL-MOMENT! =D


We have an awful lot of snails in each and every flower bed! Awful lot! There are whole families of them. Dads, moms, kids, aunts, uncles, everyone. They're happy little slimy things. And I, call me a twit, pick them up and play with them, no kidding. I wait for them to come out and then stick them on to the wall, and then let them compete and "run" on the race track. The snail that reaches the finish point first, wins the race. Lame. I know.

One Deliriously Awesome Birthday.

My birthday- turned out to be a lot more fun than I expected. So much Better than the last one.
It was full of omg-I-can't-believe-I-am-twenty clumsiness and phone calls that cheered up my every single body cell. Everything went just perfect, perfect! No arguments with siblings. No worries. Every one made it a special day for me, a day to remember =) I'm filled with delight and smiles. Aaahhh! Bliss. =)

March 31st, 7:00 AM

I woke up, washed my drowsy face as mom called for breakfast. I walked upto the kitchen and there she was, looking at me, smiling. I walked closer and she hugged me. Awww. I love you, mother =) You're the best.
Then I did some reading and took a nap :D
Papa was busy, as usual, and he always forgets my birthday. But oh well, he texted me and wished me anyway ^__^, We also went out for some fun, the cake was bought and not baked by me. I am the one who always bakes cakes for everyone. I surely wasn't in the mood to bake one for myself.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder how certain things, things so little, could mean so much to you. Other might not understand, its only you who can feel the contentment within.

Back to the birthday, I wanted a really really chocolaty spongy chocolate-dripping mouth watering chocolate drenched chocolate cake, and though mine wasn't the one I had wanted terribly; to treat my taste buds to and satisfy my craving, it certainly was a real good one. =) When we finally got together, I cut the cake and everyone wished me once again and sang me the good old birthday song. And that's how this awesome day came to an awesome end. With no friends invited, no grand arrangements, no fancy party, no balloons and streamers, no formalities, I loved it all. Yeah I'm like that, its the little, mostly insignificant things that have the tendency to make me happy.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim

Teehee. I am not a wise cracker at all, believe me.

Here's the cake that Ally ate up all.

A long post!

Isn't it like me
to want to say
things I can't explain ...
in simple ways?
Why should I be sane?
Why can't I be crazy?
Sometimes I'm up,
sometimes I'm down,
I choke on words,
and make no sound.

My life isn't full of ups and downs, for once it is all about "falling-down-a-rabbit-hole-figuring-out-the-way-to-go-up-but-failing-every time-trying-to-reach-the-top." And that hole never takes me to any wonderland. I'm no Alice. I'm no Cinderella either.
I try, I fail, my misbegotten plans keep pulling me down, and everything goes wrong. My hard gathered optimism often becomes the poor victim of my unwanted lover - pessimism, it chomps onto every little bit of my optimism till there is left no more, leaving me overwhelmed with distress.
I have had fair weather friends, friends I loved and cared for, selflessly, friends who betrayed me when I least expected it. I was left torn, shattered and flabbergasted by their materialistic attitude. I have never felt how it is like to have a true friend, a friend you could trust with your life.
A lover could be your best friend too, and I am glad to have one =) but still, there is always a little need for a friend who's just a friend, A girl-girl friendly talk is always a pleasure =D Sighs. I never had one. They all used me for their own purposes, took advantage. From assignments to the littlest of the things, they took my help, only to hurt me in the end, and turn their backs on me. I didn't say anything. I just silently walked away. Once again, life taught me a lesson.
However, I did find a few good friends, but they're all too far away.
Waves of nausea. Waves of tears often overwhelmed my senses in loneliness.

Someone once told me,

"Do not be afraid to be in the world; the world is not afraid to be in you."

And yet, regardless of all these unfortunate events of the past, I find myself to be lucky in a good way because,
Happiness lies for those who have cried, those who were hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. (:
Its funny how optimism is coming back to me as I am writing this post. Gee, I shall be thankful for what I have got! I'm blessed, with many things I often take for granted.
My life is not a fairy tale where the endings turn out to be happy. There is no happily-ever-after to life. Life is not a constant, but a constant struggle, a constant change. But don't stick to my sombre image of life, it can be beautiful too, only if we try and seek its beauty within everything around us. We often fail to recognize life's beauty, so much so that we take for granted every blessing we are blessed with.
Oh wait, let me pour my tea, let me sip on to this funny liquid, this will make me feel good.
So yes, back to the post,

There are people who love me, love me for who I am. I believe, I believe these fears will go away.
And everything will soon fall into place.

And I hate how I've turned into this lazy bum. I make mistakes I often regret. I am going to change myself, try real hard, be a good girl, and make my loved ones proud.

These hackneyed but growing nonetheless hopes, that I often infuse myself with, help me feel good. lol I talk too much when I write. :/
I badly need a nap I'm exhausted. I want to sleep a lot. And sometimes I cannot fall asleep at all :/ And sometimes I sleep for hours. lol
Sometimes I feel like I'm little Audrey because I dream a lot!

But ooolala I wrote a long post today!! Its been ages since I posted a long musing!

There are a lot of things that are desperately bubbling to get out of me and I want to scribble it all!


-Ally

Reflection.

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart


I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart

And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Lyrics/ Mulan/ Reflection.

Colors of the wind (:

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

You can tell its one of my favorite songs. (:
Colors of the wind <3

	Vanessa Williams - Colors Of The Wind .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine