This post is not for happy people. Go celebrate your happiness.

I wish I could delete my existence from the face of the Earth, the Universe, from existence itself. I wish I could click a "deactivate" button and suddenly every inch of my existence would vanish into thin air. Where there would be nothing, but nothingness. I wish I could make everyone forget that there ever existed a girl by my name. I wish I had nothing to loose. I want to disappear, bury myself and my thoughts for a long, very long time. Freeze every feeling inside my mind and go into a deep, deep slumber where there would be nothing. Nothingness. Numbness.

PS Sorry for the bitter title, I couldn't help it.

Dreamy Walls

Gosh this is so b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! I shall have all of these wall murals/decals in my future house!!!
I love this! Now this what I call truly beautiful! The lighting, the furniture, the walls everything looks perfect =) And the baby room with that cherry blossom tree is super cute! I want to hug all these walls! Fancy having these walls whenever you walk into your house or room! <3

There's a glass full of water beside me and a sack full of worries on my head

Hello. I know it has been ages since I last posted something on my blog. The Bloggerita in me was in a deep slumber, and is still very drowsy, lazy and reluctant I guess. I have a lot to write, and it is all cluttered and scrambled in my mind. And I cannot decide what to write about first, the good things or the bad ones.
The hurricanes of worries that left me in total disarray or the little bundles of pleasure that leave me overwhelmed with delight and pull me several inches out of the difficulties that surround me everyday.
The prospect of leaving a loved one sends pangs sadness into my heart.

You said that you'll always be with me no matter where we are. We are already cities apart for a long time! And now....!! it would be seas and countries between us....we're ready to face it all.

7,881 miles shouldn' t matter when hearts are connected with that unseen bond, the strongest bonds of all!!

  You're my shelter, I feel safe and loved in your presence. Amid all the uncertainties, blows of fate, where nothing could be trusted, no one to confide in, you are the one I could pour my heat to, without any hesitation, knowing that you'll embrace me, comfort me. My ultimate solace.The warm fuzzy feeling inside me, its YOU.
Even with all  those silly arguments we are ONE. There are no lies, no deceit, and nothing hidden or concealed. I often used to  find myself to be a victim of paranoia but in your presence it has all vanished. You handled me so well.  These three years and two months have changed me in a good way of course. And I have come to this point where I'm happy and contented with my relationship and as I reflect upon the time that has passed, I smile. I really smile.
Even when sometimes you're mad, blurting out all that poppycock, I smile =p because that's you. I always know you'd come, apologize and be sappy =p
Only you have the power to make me giggle when there are tears gliding down my face.I can't thank God enough for giving me my 'YOU'. A perfect bundle of craziness combined with love, and care and affection.
I'm happy because I'm not in a miserable kind of relationship


 Okay, I think I got a bit carried away with emotions.  I don't usually write about love here.  Anyways. A little heart-talk won't hurt. This is my very own blog and I can pretty much write here anything I WANT.
Okay so I've been listening to a great song that goes like this..

Waiting for something
But I don't know what I want
Searching for reasons, babe
Reasons to carry on

I got my fingers crossed
And my hopes are high
So I'll try to stay calm
Try to stay dry 

I have this sudden and an absurd feeling inside me. I feel like deleting this blog.. or forget it and start a new one.. write somewhere else :s .The good feeling associated with writing here has lost its charm.. or may be it is because of an extremely difficult phase I'm going through.. praying day and night that it goes away soon! When will I be able to write something bursting with happiness? I can endure my own problems but when it comes to a member of a family..I can't see them unhappy I want to bring sparkling smiles to their faces, forever!

 Bye blog/blogreaders. See you!

PS I'd  be leaving in July =)

Ally is in a state of FRENZY.

She is going to the US for the very first time. And that too, for a long long time. She is partly happy, partly sad, doleful and teary, partly agitated, berserk, and convulsive .  She would be LEAVING. Soon.

I deserted a dessert but had a sweet reunion today.

Dear Mango Icecream,

I abandoned you, I am sorry. I forgot how I used to walk in diapers together with you, holding you tight, yes I know you for a long time, precious. Amid all those others that looked more appealing, I forgot how I used to love you. I know, I'm sorry. I broke your heart to pieces and let others take advantage of you. How cruel of me to desert you! How stupid I have been all this time! To leave my precious little dear one. I know you are a little plain for my taste, but it doesn't matter anymore, I love PLAIN. You're plainly beautifully heavenly and there never will be any one else like you. I am sorry that I have done nothing but exacerbate your insecurities.
I am sorry that I walked into your life, gave you hope and did not fulfeeel your dreams, dreams of being with me forever. But today you caught me eye, after what seemed like eons, a lifetime! That same old you, pretty neat and seductive. You in no time, made my taste buds tingle. You filled me with a want, a want to have you. And I gave in to the temptation. I brought you home and ATE you. *NOM NOM NOM*

Oh you plain old thing! you are the best. I bet Mr. rocky road,
Monsieur Vanilla fudge ripple, or Herr Butter pecan cannot beat you. 
But I'd have vanilla sprinkled with crushed chocolate chi cookies ever now and then, hope you don't mind. 


                                            =D

Leon- The Movie

Everything is going very well these days, and I'm back to my old lazy ways again, haven't been studying for a week or so, this is not good, I will get back to the books by tomorrow *cheers herself hoarse*
 So, I watched this amazing movie, AMAZING. And I can finally scream at the top of my lungs that

        I HAVE FINALLY FOUND A MOVIE I COULD CALL MY FAVORITE!

This is a wonderful film, in that it gets so many things right. The story, which at first glance is corny and silly, actually becomes gripping and emotional in the hands of the skilled Jean Reno and Natalie Portman. The characters are sympathetic and likeable, and one is touched by the depth of the relationship between Leon and Mathilda. There is real danger and drama throughout the film, yet it never becomes merely an action film – the characters are too significant for that.
Mathilda, a twelve-year old New York girl, is living an undesirable life among her half-family. Her father stores drugs for two-faced cop Norman Stansfield. Only her little brother keeps Mathilda from breaking apart. One day, Stansfield and his team take cruel revenge on her father for stretching the drugs a little, thus killing the whole family. Only Mathilda, who was out shopping, survives by finding shelter in Léon's apartment in the moment of highest need. Soon, she finds out about the strange neighbor's unusual profession - killing - and desperately seeks his help in taking revenge for her little brother. Léon, who is completely inexperienced in fatherly tasks, and in friendships, does his best to keep Mathilda out of trouble - unsuccessfully. Now, the conflict between a killer, who slowly discovers his abilities to live, to feel, to love and a corrupt police officer, who does anything in his might to get rid of an eye witness, arises to unmeasurable proportions - all for the sake of a little twelve-year old girl, who has nearly nothing to lose.
Here a wonderful song from my favorite movie :)



Please do watch it you wouldn't be disappointed. It is definitely my kind of movie, I know I wouldn't be able to get it off my mind  for the rest of my life :D

 Tell me when you watch it!!!
Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI0AkD6U42s
 Cheers,
 Ally.

In a fairly good condition

All that I've been having in the past few days is this:



Because I was very


But Now I'm very..


And now I must say
Good day!
Bye.

Terrified.

YOU HAVE TO READ IT ALL. 

It all happened in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of a deep slumber when some squeaking and scratching noises stabbed my dreams. I was so sure it wasn't any family member, for the noises were very peculiar.
I woke up that instance, fear running through my nerves. I did not know what to do, I couldn't dare to go out, fearing that the intruder might be armed. Panic almost blinded me and I completely lost control over my thoughts, "What if he hurts my parents or my siblings?" I asked myself. "No, I must go and check up on my own, find out who's making those noises, it might be a cat or a rat." I gathered up courage and sighed, and tiptoed silently and cautiously out of my room. The noises were coming from the kitchen. I walked slyly until something made me hold my breath, it was a tall, dark, lumpy figure of a man, he was busy doing something I couldn't quite figure out. "I must do something, I must do SOMETHING!," I told myself. I had never found myself to be so petrified before. I should have called the police right away, that was the wisest thing to do. But instead, I walked to my parents' bedroom and woke them up. And my dad walked to the kitchen bravely and switched on the lights. It was the most horrifying, most disgusting face I'd ever set my eyes upon. He wasn't shocked over being caught and I thanked God he was unarmed. With a look of a child molester, he smiled self-satisfyingly. And looked across my way. I shuddered. "I am sorry, I had to barge in like that, I'm poor and hungry and I was bitterly ravenous. I came inside to get something to eat .I am sorry to disturb you, I must go now", he said with a mysterious grin, for once I felt a momentarily relief. At least he wasn't a thief or a bad guy, I thought. He started walking towards the door to leave, when my father stopped him and and asked him to stay for a while and eat something. He ordered me to bring some food, I obeyed. And went straight into the kitchen and brought a platter full of of food for the man. He sat on the floor, right in front of the door that leads to the gate outside and started eating grubbily. Suddenly everyone else disappeared and I was the only one left in the room with him. I thought he might be grateful for our kindness, but to my horror, he looked at me with a ferocious stare, and spilled these words, "It is not over yet, It is not over yet, I'm not leaving so soon" and laughed. I felt myself sinking onto the floor, I suddenly felt my legs could no longer take another step, I felt helpless, my legs were playing tricks on me, I couldn't run or hide, or even kick him out of the house, least of all I did not even feel angry. I was horrified, terrified, I wanted to cry for help, yet my throat couldn't utter a word, not a whisper. I felt like choking. And then, he got up, started walking towards me, I was shivering. But he didn't come near me he went inside the house. I knew he would harm my family. I knew it, I suddenly caught a glimpse of my dad, I tried to scream, but he was caught in a trance. He stood blankly staring onto the wall. I tried to scream louder, and then I heard my mom, he was trying to harm her! I felt the rush of anger burst into my mind and strength came to me out of nowhere. I started beating him up, pushing, kicking, trying to get him out of my mom's room. My always strong, brave, loving brother,  stood in the corner. I went up to him and asked him to help me, but I saw tears in his eyes. He was CRYING! I was the one who could save my family, the only one who could bring them out of this danger. And then I did something I don't remember clearly, I heard a painful moan, and the  walls got dirty. And I woke up!!! Woke up out of this ghastly dream. Shivering, panting,  breathing in shallow gulps. And went back to sleep again where it all started again, he was still chanting "It is not over yet, it is not over yet." Something jerked me out of the sleep. I couldn't sleep anymore, I was drenched in fear thinking there might be someone inside our house for real. I did not wake up anyone, though I wanted to. After five minutes or so, I got up and went outside to check up on every room, checked the doors and windows. The first azaan caught my attention and I felt relieved, a bit. It was still dark outside, I drank some water, prayed, and prayed for a long time. I was relieved after I woke up, but something was still very frightening, the image of that man kept flashing before my eyes. I don't know when or after how long I went back to sleep, but thank goodness I didn't see that NIGHTMARE again. It is all real, all true, the story of the nightmare I clearly remember, a dream that still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.


-----------------------


I'm down with fever today, I don't know if it is because of the dream or just a coincidence, but I really am sick. My throat is sore and my head remained dizzy all day. Let's hope I don't see any nightmares tonight.
Another restless night ahead of me, thanks to the sore throat and fever.


Goodnight Ally, sleep tight, don't let the "nightmares" bite.

Nancy Drew.

I've been reading Nancy Drew since I were 12 :p Nancy Drew Stories were awesome and the files turned out to be even more awesomer =p I bought some new files again! And I'm loving it!

Hold on.

I'm holding on to my dreams,

And I'll keep holding on.

I won't let my dreams die,

Nothing can shake my faith, no stick, no stone.

Teleporting, I wish you were real.

Fifteen days  seem like an ETERNITY.

~

Junaid Jamshed- truly a legend.You could fall in love with his songs very easily. 90's was definitely the best era.

Double dutch.

Watching movies to kill time. I have read all these books. Need to buy more. Running out of time, must study. Maths kills me. Motorama is the best movie ever. Missing someone terribly. Must not cry like a baby. Matilda the movie, was awesome, as always! Coleslaw is the best thing ever to happen to cabbage family. Feelings are running high. Crying for no apparent reason. Oh, movie. Sorry. Bye

A Quick Rant.

Something is seriously wrong with me. Why do I change my templates almost everyday!? :/ I can't stand to look at the same old template every time I log in, something keeps telling me to change my layout, header image, background, and keep looking for something better. Why do templates challenge my right to have a wee bit peace in my life? And why does it sound so much fun to change templates?
Okay lets stop all this snivelling...let's just cut to the chase shall we? I think its an obsessive compulsive disorder or what? No? then what?
I have a whooping cough and I don't want this sedating cough syrup that tastes like rotten cherries. Summer (read scorching heat), my unwanted visitor has finally arrived with all its blessings- sweat, humidity, cranky moods, mosquitoes and what not. All that warm fuzzy giddy happy winter-y feeling has been replaced with crankiness and heat. The only good thing and the silver lining - I can now enjoy cool showers and drink and eat everything cold. All I could do now is to wait for it to rain and stay indoors. Animals hibernate in winter and I want to hibernate in Summer. I don't want any annoying tans, messed up sweaty clothes and I simply don't want to burn myself. Soon it's going to be beeping hot out there! God! please minimize intense heat and let the good weather roll in. Let this summer be rainy and cool. Please. Amen.
And somebody please help me get over this template changing OCD. I really want a long pause or else I'll squirming be through images and never ending nerve wracking seas of blogger templates for the rest of my life :D

~

Trying to figure it all out.

About the book....

"A magnificent and moving story of a love that grew in the balmy days before the outbreak of  the Second World War; how it was threatened as the Nazis invaded, yet finally triumphed. A FAREWELL TO FRANCE is a magnificent epic, played out against tumultuous  background of the time: a decadent French government, the life of a foreign correspondent, the grandeur of the Champagne regions and the glory of French Resistance."

This is the description written on the book. Still, there is so much more to it that could not be put into words for words seem futile. One needs to read it from the beginning till the end.
Apart from the love story, it is about the unmatched brutality and cruelty of the Nazi Germans, the horrors of the war, holocaust, families torn apart, lives shattered forever, and a race against time. I've learned a lot after reading this book that kept me hooked till the end. However, when I started reading it, I stopped halfway and begin with another book. I don't know why but when I resumed, it got better and better right after the chapter when war broke out. It was a nostalgic, romantic yet brutal read. Written in a vivid way, as if one is actually witnessing everything, as if one's a part of the story.  I loved every part of it. Definitely a story to remember for life.

I BELIEVE.

Its a song!!

I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.

I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word.
Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

Every time I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky.
Then I know why,
I believe.

-------
The bag tag and 50 random things about me tag coming soon!