I am not on crack.

I owe y'all a big thanks for asking me to start writing again. I haven't been away, I wasn't on crack, I wasn't on pot either.... I was just dead busy plus preoccupied with all the worries.

Umm...... FYI, I think I might write like I'm talking, more like I'm writing becasue I don't know it might take sometime for me to bring myself back into the world of writing. But honestly, i'm just too glad to be back.
I have never been popular with anything. Being quiet is my thing, its only here that I get to open up to people. Because I suck at interacting with people in real-life situations, some people think I'm a bit arrogant. How crazy is that. Me and arrogant? No way. Just because I'm not talking to you nonstop doesn't mean I'm arrogant. While others think I'm real nice. I do care about what others think about me even though I shouldn't care but I still do.
Okay.
I have developed an addiction with chocolates and which is blessing me some extra pounds I'd like to shed someday. Its only with chocolates, not other sugary candy, just chocolates with lots of nuts. Lindt truffles being my favorites and Snickers too.
Last night, my sister kept me up all night becasue she couldn't sleep. I don't fall completely into a real sleep until 4 in the morning and the first half of my sleep is always half-awake feeling kind of sleep so just when I fell into this sweet dream-less sleep, she walked into my room and woke me up because she was scared. I felt like jumping down a bridge or something because I had to get to work by 8. It was a horrible day.

I need to put my stuff in order because half of my stuff is in this computer and half of it is in the other one.

Everytime I start to write something pleasnt, it turns into a rant. :p I'm just so full of rants. I ordered some stuff from ebay and it the shipping took forever. The only days when I get off of work this week are Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Thats all. No long Christmas break. Don't you just love working in a doctor's office?
I have a big to-do list to take care of and I never get my tasks done on time. I love watching Everybody hates Chris. It has always been there to kill my boredom and slap the sadness out me.
I was thinking about doing something worth while next time. I never write anything good. Lord have mercy.
Next post will be an iLike post as suggested by a good blogger friend of mine called,The Me. =)

After a random post here comes a random picture. My little brother made this for me...

?

What do I write first to break that awful silence in here? Any suggestions? Questions?

Update!

Its about time i UPDATE MY BLOG!!! I hate this writer's block.

A post from Doze-land

Life for me is getting complicated with each passing day. The more exposure to the outer world, the more confusing it gets. I really miss the naiveness and purity of my childhood. Being in a different place and living around different people, being in a position where you are constantly judged by every one around you, is kind of tough. I'm the one representing my entire country, and I no longer go unnoticed. For others, it might be thrilling but for me, it is overwhelming or stressful I guess. Well that's because I'm lame and you know it :)
And yes, I have gained so much, confidence, experience and I'm learning with each passing day. Life has always been a mixture of good and bad, bittersweet. Sugar coated bitter lump.
I want to learn the way our mind responds to different feelings and why and how our thoughts and feelings change. I want to learn to trust my instincts with faith and have nothing to regret in the future.
Life is so much more than living  by rules.
Hey I once bought Club Soda while I was in Pakistan and I had no idea what it was or why it was sitting on a super market's shelf but somehow I bought it and somehow I opened it and somehow I took the first sip and somehow I near threw-up. It was a strange mixture of stale smelly water with something very bitter in it that you could not bear to stand for a second. It stirred up my nervous system. In a bad way. Get my point here? About lifw? yes, I hope you did.
 Let me remind you that I'm at this time, exhausted to bits and I wan't to go and collapse. On my bed, that is. Its funny because whenever I start a blogger post I'm always on this system where I have no pictures and all of them are in the other one and I can't put them up becuase I'm just too lazy to do a thing too difficult for my lazy, lazy self.
Alarm set: 5:00AM
Doze off, girl.

Can you trust your instincts? If yes, then how?

A little happy post amid not so happy days.

Been ages, I know. I'm just too busy with everything, I hardly have time for doing something that's out of the normal everyday routine. But I had some awesome time today that prompted me to write an impromptu blog post =p
Ladies and gentlemen, I went to the gym!! woohoo. I had a great workout!! and fitness equipment there, is just top-notch. You can watch the calories you're burning, your speed and you can even watch the built-in TV :p
Our apartments have their own gym, spa, and pools for the residents. Isn't is so wonderful?? To have something awesome right next door?? Okay may be I'm exaggerating but I love working out!!! I WILL, from now on, go and workout every single day!!!
I and my brother hit the gym at around 10ish at night, its fun to be all by ourselves =p
 My brother has this  friend and a few days ago he was like... wow, you have a sister!! Can I date her? WOW. A 16 year old kid who dyed his blond hair brown and who probably has a dozen girlfriends wanted to date me??? LOL.Kids.
Pics, Oh pics!! i PROMISE I will be posting them!!

New Followers, and other things.

I have got 53 followers now!  Wow, thats huge!! Thank you everyone...for following...it makes me feel like my blog is not deserted =p
thank you Bea, AcetylCholine, ol dat jazz, R-J, Crazy Girl, and Sajeel follwing, and welcome to my blog. Although you're going to be disappointed because I don't write regularly but thank you, anyways.
=)
Yesterday wasn't a very good day for me... i had SEVEN shots in a row... seven sharp, prickly, and painful shots.  It didn't hurt much when i got them but later on after an hour or so, the pain got worse and I couldn't even lift my arms!! my muscles hurt =( I've got four on the right upper arm muscle and 3 on the left. And I got fever and body cramps too, I was sickly and tired and exhausted and I ate absolutely nothing for a good 33 hours =s I just lost all the appetite. Which was interesting, I love loosing my appetite =s =p

Wondering why I got shots?
Because I lost my childhood shots record and now I HAVE to take all of those shots again!! I'd be having them every month, for a total 6 months. Not good. =(

The days seem so short! It is hard to complete all the important tasks in one single day. May be because I'm no good when it comes to time management. It is very, very frustrating. Any suggestions?

Talks to herself

Its pitch dark in my room, no lamppost light coming in and no moon,

just sitting on my bed with thoughts squirming around my head....

I'm again having this sudden urge to write about love, which is something I don't want to write about here. I have realized that I'm loosing readers and I'm not a very active blogger or a famous, popular one who'd make you laugh or go "Awwww" or Ooohh. Long story short, I'm not a popular person at all. Not only on blogger, but in real life too. I'm a quite little bug in the corner, I talk to myself in my head. I have little to none friends. And I feel very nervous when talking to someone I haven't met before. I just look at others when they keep on talking(read blabbing) constantly without a pause. I used to underestimate myself on daily basis but now I have come to the conclusion that it is something I'm and I can't change myself so why not live with it and be proud of who I really am. Whataya say?
There is so much inside of me, so much to be written, so much I'm holding back. If I can't talk out loud,I should probably write more, for me, at least.

Title: Sorry I'm out of titles...

There are times when there's a lot inside of you but you don't want to write anything at all. I'm going through this phase. I need a nice novel to read. I want to read, not write.

I'm so in love with this song,.I want to dance to it!


I once hated "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum but today early in the morning I was listening to it on fm and I liked it! Its crazy how for the first time you don't like a song and then after listening to it twice or thrice, you start listening over and over again and again... crazy much? I'm like that. Music is one thing that keeps me going.  Something is not write.. something weird and crazy is going on in my mind.. may be some coffee will settle me down.. wow, WOW....see, I have caught the cold.. and I thought I was the luckiest fellar on this planet.. because my entire family caught it and I didn't and now I have it and everyone's fine. Pathetic much? Go drink some more coffee or tea with a dash of honey.  Madeline is the cutest girl from Paris. I love her stories!
 I made chocolaty muffins today with chocolate morsels on top and a hidden macaroon inside.. will post the pics later. I love long walks on the grassy sidewalks with speedy cars passing you by or walks in a quiet calm park when there's no one but you and your ear phones and music. Okay so the writing time is over... and ummm... my coffee is ready!

Travelog

DXB(Dubai International Airport)
We had a two hour stopover there. It is a beautiful airport..with lots of space to sit back and relax.

ARRIVAL AT THE NYC AIRPORT
I certainly didn't make any good memories there..due to their slow turtle-speed immigration processing, we missed our flight and then we had to spent the entire night there. It was a bitter disappointment. We were exhausted beyond limit, the tour of the city was out of question. But somehow the dawn finally broke, to our relief. But overall, it was fun.And somehow we took our flight for Atlanta.

This random little beauty was just walking around doing silly things, I couldn't help clicking her photo. When she realized what I had been doing, she ran away =p

ATLANTA TO MONTGOMERY,AL BY ROAD

Blount Park, Montgomery

Blount Park, Montgomery

Blount Park, Montgomery

Vaughn Road, Montgomery

Our apartment looks exactly like this..

View from my window

Cool Car =pFord Mustang GT

Pool in the apartment building

Bathroom =D

Macbook<3

Pretty flowers on the kitchen counter

I'm where I'm

okay so why does this feed thing shows that I'm in Florida? :s I'm not in Florida okay???!! get your IP readers fixed! okay? I'm in Alabama not Florida. Okay? Got it?

One last haphazard post before I leave

So finally here I am..
Life is super busy nowadays as we are all winding and packing things up because we are moving far far away.. to the US! Our plane leaves on July21st! That means tomorrow!
I'll terribly miss my grandma(my maternal grandma). I love her more than I could ever explain. She is the best grandmother anyone could ever have.. my super grandmother =)
And I also have to go and pack up everything I haven't yet packed, to avoid the last minute hassle... because I'm a tad bit careless =p
I know it has been a long delay and I truly regret not writing my heart out. I needed to vent out but I had vowed I won't blog unless and until I'm out of that stressful depressing phase I talked about earlier. I didn't even know it would finally end. I had my doubts and insecurities but it is all gone now, all gone. Vanished. I'm truly happy and thankful to my dear God. For me it was the kind of a problem I'd never experienced before. It sucked happiness and hope out of me, it made me into a coward. I was wrong I should have had more faith and trust in God's plans. He always has something better planned for us. I feel like a new life has been infused into me. I feel GOOD. :)
I'd be taking lots and lots of pictures and then I'll post them here, it is going to be fun!
I have mixed emotions of excitement, nervousness, sadness and eagerness. Anticipating a sudden change, a shock. Go on... Embrace it; it shouldn't hurt much. *talks to herself*
Have a great day!
Bye!

I'm happy.

Hello Everyone, I'm here =) I'm very, very happy! A great load of burden is finally off my head. I was waiting for this to happen and I'd write in detail about what it really was. =) I'm grateful to God. He listens. Yes he does.

Presenting to you ladies and gentlemen,

My first rag doll

I made her for my little sister =p

Stupid I know =p

Will write more... In a hurry! Going out!

This post is not for happy people. Go celebrate your happiness.

I wish I could delete my existence from the face of the Earth, the Universe, from existence itself. I wish I could click a "deactivate" button and suddenly every inch of my existence would vanish into thin air. Where there would be nothing, but nothingness. I wish I could make everyone forget that there ever existed a girl by my name. I wish I had nothing to loose. I want to disappear, bury myself and my thoughts for a long, very long time. Freeze every feeling inside my mind and go into a deep, deep slumber where there would be nothing. Nothingness. Numbness.

PS Sorry for the bitter title, I couldn't help it.

Dreamy Walls

Gosh this is so b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! I shall have all of these wall murals/decals in my future house!!!
I love this! Now this what I call truly beautiful! The lighting, the furniture, the walls everything looks perfect =) And the baby room with that cherry blossom tree is super cute! I want to hug all these walls! Fancy having these walls whenever you walk into your house or room! <3

There's a glass full of water beside me and a sack full of worries on my head

Hello. I know it has been ages since I last posted something on my blog. The Bloggerita in me was in a deep slumber, and is still very drowsy, lazy and reluctant I guess. I have a lot to write, and it is all cluttered and scrambled in my mind. And I cannot decide what to write about first, the good things or the bad ones.
The hurricanes of worries that left me in total disarray or the little bundles of pleasure that leave me overwhelmed with delight and pull me several inches out of the difficulties that surround me everyday.
The prospect of leaving a loved one sends pangs sadness into my heart.

You said that you'll always be with me no matter where we are. We are already cities apart for a long time! And now....!! it would be seas and countries between us....we're ready to face it all.

7,881 miles shouldn' t matter when hearts are connected with that unseen bond, the strongest bonds of all!!

  You're my shelter, I feel safe and loved in your presence. Amid all the uncertainties, blows of fate, where nothing could be trusted, no one to confide in, you are the one I could pour my heat to, without any hesitation, knowing that you'll embrace me, comfort me. My ultimate solace.The warm fuzzy feeling inside me, its YOU.
Even with all  those silly arguments we are ONE. There are no lies, no deceit, and nothing hidden or concealed. I often used to  find myself to be a victim of paranoia but in your presence it has all vanished. You handled me so well.  These three years and two months have changed me in a good way of course. And I have come to this point where I'm happy and contented with my relationship and as I reflect upon the time that has passed, I smile. I really smile.
Even when sometimes you're mad, blurting out all that poppycock, I smile =p because that's you. I always know you'd come, apologize and be sappy =p
Only you have the power to make me giggle when there are tears gliding down my face.I can't thank God enough for giving me my 'YOU'. A perfect bundle of craziness combined with love, and care and affection.
I'm happy because I'm not in a miserable kind of relationship


 Okay, I think I got a bit carried away with emotions.  I don't usually write about love here.  Anyways. A little heart-talk won't hurt. This is my very own blog and I can pretty much write here anything I WANT.
Okay so I've been listening to a great song that goes like this..

Waiting for something
But I don't know what I want
Searching for reasons, babe
Reasons to carry on

I got my fingers crossed
And my hopes are high
So I'll try to stay calm
Try to stay dry 

I have this sudden and an absurd feeling inside me. I feel like deleting this blog.. or forget it and start a new one.. write somewhere else :s .The good feeling associated with writing here has lost its charm.. or may be it is because of an extremely difficult phase I'm going through.. praying day and night that it goes away soon! When will I be able to write something bursting with happiness? I can endure my own problems but when it comes to a member of a family..I can't see them unhappy I want to bring sparkling smiles to their faces, forever!

 Bye blog/blogreaders. See you!

PS I'd  be leaving in July =)